I haven't been posting a lot for a while. Even though April hasn't been that good financially (not bad exactly, but not good either), I've had a lot on my plate.
I've had a few started then aborted projects for various reasons, for which I've invested time and lost other opportunities. This has been quite frustrating.
I've also had a few financial hurdles as a homeowner, which have sucked my time and energy away from me, and made me rethink my future as a homeowner and the only head of my nuclear family.
I've started training in level 2 neurolinguistic programming and it's also been very time-consuming. It's made me very vulnerable to the outside world and my future in the world of coaching and support. I don't know where it's taking me, but I don't want to pass on the opportunity.
I've also resumed my literary translation training. As far as I can remember, I've always wanted to specialise in translating books. Not necessarily only fiction, but mostly longer projects with comfortable deadlines and decent rates to be able to do a good job while earning a living without having to hustle all the time to find new clients and projects.
Lastly, I've been busy with dance classes and the preparation of a show in June. For once, I'll also be dancing along my daughter, and even my son, who will be going on stage for the first time and 3.5 years old.
Time is running out and money's not that good at the moment. I'm asking myself a lot of questions about my future as a professional and as a woman. I like what I do for a living and I love a lot of aspects of my daily life, but there're also quite a few recurring issues that I need to solve at this point.
Uncertainty is very difficult for control freaks like me, even the adventurous ones. We keep trying to keep hold of everything in our life and there's always something that escapes us.
When you get to be 40-something and you've been working hard towards a good full career and family life, you always get frustrated because you realise not everything is as you'd like it to be. And you start fearing that the situation will remain the same for ever at this point.
My next step will therefore be to instil the changes I want to see in my life where I feel I've been stuck for too long, unable to go forward and to try and make things better for myself and my family.
And usually, this calls for taking risks and rethinking things, at least a bit.
Let's see where it goes.
Scary, isn't it?